June 2008 - Feelings

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feelings - June 2008

Crystal wants to know what music you like best?

June 23rd 2008 07:38

Andrew and I had a good old fashioned jam session over the weekend.

We hadn't planned anything in particular and when he arrived I was practicing my ballet, which I must admit I rarely do, as I consider two sessions a week at ballet class was enough, but we had learned some new movements and I must confess I had some trouble doing them, must be my age showing, that's why I was actually practicing when Andrew arrived.

He swept me into his arms, apparently I turned him on in my leotard and we ended up having some fun together, with my protesting all too weakly.

It's a nice feeling don't you think? being held in a man's arms. Well, I certainly do.

Anyway I left him fiddling around with my music and sound sytem while I had a shower and got changed and it was not too long before I could hear the deep beats of those heavy sounds which you often hear as cars drive along the road, not giving any concern but for the driver and his favourite beats. It's pretty sexy I know, so no wonder they like it. And many cars are equipped with some amazing sound systems.

I urged him to turn it down as I did not want the neighbours complaining but he was in such a playful mood, which is rather unusual for him, on the whole.

We settled for some jazz which we both like and then he managed to get some vocals on the internet, men just love to play with technology as well you know.

I'd settle for classical any day of the week but had had quite a bit of that for my ballet practice.

A lot of what Andrew chooses I am not familiar with but if I don't like something he switches to other things until he finds something we both like.

I must admit some of that heavy, beaty music can really get the blood flowing and get you moving on an otherwise dull sort of day.

Anyway, apart from a nice long walk and looking around the garden where we had lunch and some time spent with Tinkerbelle in silence, she's not into music, this was how we passed the weekend, Andrew sent out for some Pizza for tea and it was really very nice and restful, depite the intermittent thud, thud, thud, of some of his selections.

By Sunday evening I must admit I was not looking forward to going to work and I am starting to think I should move the wedding plans forward a bit.

It seems you can take too long planning, and the future is unexpected for all of us.

But I've been wondering what sort of music you like best, I have never heard of anyone not liking music but tastes vary, as well you know.

So, what's your choice in respect of music. Perhaps you love some and hate some others, I'd really like to know.

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Crystal wonders if crying is necessary for others to hear you?

June 17th 2008 08:21

I love being with Andrew, but on the weekend I shed a few tears, I am so worried that he will spend too much time on the farm if we do get together.

He was very loving and sympathetic, and assured me he would not do this, that he was trying to secure our future, to which I replied that I thought our future was pretty secure.

That set him back and he said next time he went he'd book us both into a motel, separate rooms of course, and started once more hinting about our getting married.

I really want to get married as you all know, but I want to be sure I marry the right person.

But as mum always says none of us can be sure of that, and I can see the wisdom of those words, I think I am suffering from pre-commitment jitters generally attributed to the male sex.

I quite like the farm but I realize that once we have children it will not be so easy to get away and Andrew can see that this is a valid concern.

He said he'd try to work something out which would make us both happy so I suppose for the time being the ball is in his court so to speak.

We did have a lovely weekend together and next time he goes alone I shall go out and buy a piano. I've been thinking for some time that I could be a piano teacher as the children come along, especially once they go to school.

I'm not much of a pianist but I have had some tuition and I love music, due to my involvement with ballet for so many years but I would not want to be a ballet teacher.

Of course I'd need to keep practising and have some more lessons, but there is plenty of time and I can take as long as I like to become more proficient.

I spoke to mum and dad about this and they thought it was a good idea, but they did point out that I could keep working if I wanted, I had sufficient income to hire a Nannie.

I tuned out completely on this one, as I just know I want to bring up my children myself, regarding that as worth more than money could ever buy.

I feel sure there are still many women who would agree with me.

But, in writing this post, I am becoming increasingly more aware that females seem to need to cry before they are listened to and taken seriously.

Many would say this is an emotional ploy but I can assure you my tears were prolific and very real.

Others say that just can't manage to cry although they do see it as a great emotional release.

Do you think it is necessary for females to cry before they get a good hearing?

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How do you manage your time? Are you happy about that?

June 9th 2008 08:30

It's funny, sometimes I'm tempted to give this blogging up but I had a look at my stats and for one who doesn't post much ( well, hardly at all really ) they are not too bad.

And some people think I do it for the money, not even enough for a child's piggy bank really and aren't those adcents a giggle. Not to be take too seriously.

Well, it could have been a great weekend but Andrew had to race around doing a few things about getting his house ready for leasing and then the farm beckoned, so for one who is supposed to love me so passionately I did not get to see him so much.

Of course, I like the idea of the farm, but just for little visits really, and besides there is nowhere for me to stay.

Andrew says when we get married ( and that's quite an assumption as I haven't said yes yet) we'll get a nice caravan to stay in before we build a small cottage up there, quite forgetting that it may not be just the two of us for very long.

Anyway I spent most of yesterday with Mum and Dad and they said the problem is that people were too material nowadays, in their day it was just the home and the family, now it's everything, send the babies off to child care and live almost insanely trying to hold everything together. I think they've got something there.

I think Andrew and I shall have a few things to sort out before we get married, that's if we do.

Children need a dad as well as a mum and although he needs to work and is a good income producer, it can make one too ambitious financially, after all we're pretty well off already by most people's standards.

Some lead lives that are quite frenetic and how on earth low income earners cope is beyond me, they must find it very difficult.

I can understand why young women defer marriage and a family but so many of them then miss out all together, and I think that is rather sad. Women's lib, who are they kidding, women's bondage if you ask me.

But at least they don't get stuck with a child every year since the pill came in. But more and more are ending up in IVF programs, that cannot be very pleasant for them.

It's invariably the women who suffer. Why, I constantly ask myself.

Anyway to-day Andrew and I had a lovely relaxing day at home even though he slept through a great portion of it while Tinkerbelle and I watched DVD's, a sign of things to come perhaps.

How do you feel about these things, do you have enough time in your life to do the things you really want to do or is time and/or other factors holding you back?

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