back in my hood!
February 21st 2007 09:36
I am back at my house!
I have since had my computer moved into my bedroom, it feels quite strange, part of my personal space is now pent up with a little bit more technological crap!
I woke up this morning sprawled out comfortable on my bed, for a small moment, there was not a worry on my mind, not one negative thought, just the feeling of warmth and softness from my bed. No nervous tension, no urges, no complaint, just a breif feeling of 100% content feelings. I am not sure if others relate to this, or get this aswell in the morning, but it lasts for 10 seconds give or take!
Then your body snaps into motion and you are tumbled back into reality remembering accounts of what has happened in previous days. Usually this is not a great time for me. Waking up in the morning only to think of the fact that Mia is lurking on my shoulder, wanting me to crave her, which I do, then give in, which I also do. Stress about what it is I am to eat, what it is I am to wear, what it is I can do to keep my mind on things other than my hungry little tummy! And divert my attention from what I hate about myself, head to toe!
But
this time it was different. I woke up with the usual relaxed feelings, going through the usual moments, but where is Mia? Where is the nagging, where is the craving the urge?
Relief first thing in the morning? Now where the fuck did that come from!
It is not there! Instead I think of the previous 24 hours and what they meant to me, and how awesome they were. And how special that person who I spent it with is to me!
I have since had my computer moved into my bedroom, it feels quite strange, part of my personal space is now pent up with a little bit more technological crap!
I woke up this morning sprawled out comfortable on my bed, for a small moment, there was not a worry on my mind, not one negative thought, just the feeling of warmth and softness from my bed. No nervous tension, no urges, no complaint, just a breif feeling of 100% content feelings. I am not sure if others relate to this, or get this aswell in the morning, but it lasts for 10 seconds give or take!
Then your body snaps into motion and you are tumbled back into reality remembering accounts of what has happened in previous days. Usually this is not a great time for me. Waking up in the morning only to think of the fact that Mia is lurking on my shoulder, wanting me to crave her, which I do, then give in, which I also do. Stress about what it is I am to eat, what it is I am to wear, what it is I can do to keep my mind on things other than my hungry little tummy! And divert my attention from what I hate about myself, head to toe!
But
this time it was different. I woke up with the usual relaxed feelings, going through the usual moments, but where is Mia? Where is the nagging, where is the craving the urge?
Relief first thing in the morning? Now where the fuck did that come from!
It is not there! Instead I think of the previous 24 hours and what they meant to me, and how awesome they were. And how special that person who I spent it with is to me!
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