Crystal wonders "how difficult is it to meet the right person when one is close to thirty?"
February 11th 2008 09:55
I had such a lovely, peaceful weekend. I found that I quite enjoyed being on my own again.
Tinkerbelle was very happy and spent a lot of time on my lap, I only had myself to look after and clean up after.
I spent some time just relaxing in the garden and it really is a lovely garden. The weather was fine and in the late evenings, but before it turned dark, I took myself off for a walk.
I got some of my crystals out which I hadn't touched for some time and had a look at some of my books, I have quite a few with great photography and art work which always gives me a lot of pleasure..
I played some classical music and sat back with my eyes closed to appreciate every crystal clear note from my very fine sound system. Life really felt perfect. All my worries seemed to drain away from me.
I wondered why I had been so slow to pick up on Jim's quite unacceptable ways around the house, I guess they just crept up on me.
In the flush of a new relationship and remember this was my first of any consequence I guess the excitement of it all turns one's vision a little skewed.
Have any of you experienced such things, I wonder.
But now I really don't know what to do, starting out again in the quest for a man stakes seems all too painful. Jim and I happened very suddenly and very easily, luck seemed to smile. Somehow, from now on I think it's all going to be rather more difficult.
Work went well to-day, I guess a quiet weekend helped there, not that I want to run my free time around, "get ready for work again soon" I am not so addicted to work. I like work and the money it brings in but will be happy to give it all away to start a family.
I guess that's all very easy when one is fortunate enough to be in my financial state and I realize there are a lot of others out there, both male and female who don't have it so well.
So now I have a quandary, I think I realize Jim is not for me, not that I've told him as yet, but the thought of starting all over again seems rather overwhelming.
Where does one go to meet a partner? I guess I'll have to be a bit more receptive to any possible overtures which come my way and I do meet quite a lot of men through work, not those who actually work in the place, but visitors, business associates etc with whom I must deal and who often, in the course of business invite me out to lunch.
Being so well established as I am seems to create a lot more problems, welll, you know I would not be inclined to link up with anyone on poverty street, snobbish as that may sound, to me it's just reality and I am very cautious of those looking for casual liaisons with no sense of commitment and I'm particularly wary of married or 'spoken for' men.
I guess there is no easy way is there? Do you find it easy to meet men, or if you're a man are you looking for a permanent relationship but find it hard to find the right girl?
Once again, I feel I shall be jumped on, but that doesn't worry me, I'm feminine but in no way frail and thank heavens blogging is more surreal than real. A virtual experience, so to speak.
Well, what do you have to say about these matters and what are your feelings about it all?
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Comment by AmyHuang
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Personally I think relationships come when it's at the right time and at the right moment. You can't force these things, and maybe it's just made that you are meant to meet certain people at certain times. One example is my fiance's parents. After their fail marriage (having married young and started a HUGE family young) - they separated and he had finally met someone perfect for him just a couple of years ago and had to remarry. He is so happy now you wouldn't think he is the sort of person who has had a bad marriage, but that's what happens when you rush into things.
I do hope you all the joy and happiness! As to your question - I think 'easy' is a very hard way to describe meeting men. Some women meet men everyday easily, but do you really want to become them, who flaunt their stuff around just so they can show they still have their stuff?
Comment by Anonymous
What about living YOUR life.
Your vision of life sounds like that of a 19th century woman.
It's worrying, if i was you i'd get some help.
Comment by linzi
BEING YOUNG AND FOOLISH
when the travellers move in
hubby wants a baby
acid colours
.
Comment by Michaelie
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Comment by Louie
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and thirty is still young my friend, forty is the new thirty......
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Anon, I have a certain view and certain standards, I am certainly not desperate, or I would have put up with Jim ( are you a fool or something?) or Steve or Bob the Builder and all in such a short period of time.
I am a very modern woman, I am very intelligent with two high degrees, a job others would die for, I have my own home and if I quit my job to-morrow I could still live if but modestly.
The best years for a woman to have children are in her early years, fertility declines very rapidly after age 35, (Scientific fact). If I want children rather than the other things you seem to find so desirable and I already have a lot of those in good measure, that is my decision not yours.
It strikes me it does become harder to meet suitable partners as one gets older and there has been substantial ongoing press about these matters.
I just wondered how others have found it.
Linzi, a degree of self pampering sounds rather delicious but I do do that already. Remember I decided Jim was not for me, not the other way around. I am a go getter and that applies equally as much to finding a partner as other things, but these things can be something of a problem I understand. I don’t actually hear anyone ‘fessing up that they have got it wrong and yet we know many do.
Michaelie, darlin’ we agree, oh now novel is that, or could it be there’s something you’re not telling me. We all live and we all learn ( hopefully)
Louie, my lamb, yes I took on board, don’t sweat the small stuff, good advice, 30 is young, I totally agree but evolution is yet to catch up with the new woman, we are still victim to the time clock. I know for some this is not an issue, but FOR ME, it is.
What a lovely lot of responses I have had, thank you all so much, dissenters included.
Thank God blogging is just the virtual world, reality can be more pressing.
I enjoy being a girl. ( wanting to add to it …having a guy like you …whoever he is)
Crystal
Comment by AmyHuang
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But what can you do? If they didn't meet I wouldn't exist!