Crystal and Jim have a talk about his helping his mother.
January 19th 2008 11:55
House repairs
You know I wrote a lovely post this afternoon and then bingo, up in smoke, so I was so disappointed and just couldn't face doing it all over again and in any case Jim was going to be back soon so I would be expected to give him my full attention.
You'll remember this was to be our weekend of talking, mainly to do with his lack of support for his mother and her circumstances.
Jim arrived at about 11, after I'd done my weekly shopping and managed to stow everything away before he arived.
In he sauntered not his usual bright and breezy, let's get going, self. He looked a bit sheepish so I gathered this was not going to be his favourite activity.
We started off well enough just simply settling down for some morning tea and biscuits, and chatting about our week.
We were in the sunroom as the weather was not good for outdoors, it was raining on and off and the whole garden was looking wet and a little sad.
After a while Jim seemed to sense I was waiting for him to start and I was not going to help him out.
We sat opposite and he raised his eyes and looked at me and I simply looked back.
He let out a heavy sigh and slowly and hesitantly began to talk.
So you think I should help my Mum.
No, Jim, it's not for me, what do you think you should do.
You think I'm mean.
Well you are looking a bit that way, not with me, of course, but with your Mum.
Well if I spend some of my money now and it will take quite a bit, there'll be less available to help me get married and start a family.
Well, Jim, thus far you have not given any indication of ever having been inclined that way and you are over thirty you know and well established and you do have sufficient funds available.
Is it my fault my mum married a two-bit loser who shot through before I was born.
No, it isn't, but isn't it fortunate that your mum is not a two bit loser too, then you would have all been up the creek without a paddle. As it turned out she kept a roof over your heads in a reasonable property and concentrated on preparing you all for school and jobs.
Yes but why should it be me doing all the helping.
It seems all your brothers are married and have children and maybe would be hard pressed just looking after themselves.
Well, why should it be me, just because I have a better job.
Jim, perhaps you were fortunate in being a bit brighter than the others and better able to perform at school and Uni which put you out in front and the fact that you have not bothered to marry.
Why should I have got married?
It seems some of those girls would have liked to.
Well, that's their problem.
Yes, I admit they've been foolish but you didn't do anything to avoid that, did you?
Crystal, you're so old fashioned.
And you don't like that.
Oh, yes, I do.
Men I said, sensing my own frustration.
He wriggled uncomfortably in his chair.
So what do you think I should do?
As I said Jim, it is not up to me it's up to you.
Well maybe I should help a bit but I'll have to work out what I need to do.
Jim aren't you forgetting that your mum would perhaps like to be involved in any proposed plans, it would be quite useless for you to be doing things she did not want you to do.
Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
Well you can think about it now and you do need to go and see your mother.
So when are we going?
Jim, we're not, You are going. It's much too soon in our relationship for me to get involved. I don't want your mother thinking I am trying to run her life.
When?
Well how about now?
So off he went and I enjoyed a few hours to myself until he returned. It was then I wrote my blog and having just finished it, I lost it, I'll explain how a bit later.
Anyway, Jim returned and was fairly quiet about the whole thing as he prepared tea. He had offered to do it, and I left him to it. Heavens knows what it was going to be like. He'd have to find his way around my kitchen a lot more than he's ever done before.
So we had a quiet dinner which was fairly plain, but after all, food is food, he wanted us to finish up with just ice cream but I quickly cut up some fruit for a fruit salad rather than just have ice cream, apparently Jim's diet needs a bit of attention too.
After, we started to talk again.
He said he'd taken his mum completely by surprise and she said that she didn't want any help and then she started to cry. Jim just could not handle that so he just sat there.
After the tears stopped she told him how hard it had been all these years and how she was still finding it difficult.
She'd had some of the front of the house painted and it looked quite nice, you'll remember the picture. But the roof was in a terrible state and had begun to leak.
She said she'd love a nice garden and would like to get another dog and cat which had both died since all the children had left home.
Jim said he'd pay for the roof to be tiled and she started to cry again, saying she liked a tin roof she liked to hear the sound of the rain on it, it brought back a lot of lovely memories of the children as they grew up.
So Jim rapidly agreed and he said he'd have the yard done in a low maintenance style for her and when it was finished he'd pay for a gardener once a fortnight and Jim said she then started to cry again and he didn't know what to do.
And what about the inside of the place I asked.
He looked taken aback, and said they hadn't talked about that.
Well you will have to after you've had the other things done won't you?
He mumbled some reply, which I didn't quite hear but I figure the ice had been broken and he'd seen a little bit of the light and other things could come later.
I told him he had done well and his face lit up like a young boy's on Christmas Day.
He's gone home now and Tinkerbelle is sleeping soundly curled up in a ball where she's been most of the day, a fine way for a cat to spend a wet day. So as long as she doesn't wake up and attack my mouse, I can get on with the blog, she has a habit of only allowing me so much licence on the computer and then she'll suddenly sprawl right across my keybosrd p0]q;h kps8'm\rjerydfg[o0dl
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Oh, oh, she's here, but I enticed her out to the kitchen with a little treat so Ipwt[qtjrg80td
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Well I've managed to get her away again so I'd say this is the end of my post and now you know what happened this afternoon, but this time I've been careful and did not clutch her so quickly that I inadvertently opened up a menu and closed the post thinking I was just closing the drop down.
Now, I am being very slow and very careful.
I must say this weekend is much more relaxed than the usual ones we have, and there'll be more tomorrow of talk and relaxation with Jim coming for a big breakfast of his favourite bacon and eggs with extras.
But I wonder how you usually spend your weekends, do you go out or do you relax, it would be really interesting to know, and where, and who does the talking in your house?
Must go now before the cat comes back. Moving cautiously, I don't want to lose another post.
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Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Anon, Your communication is very poor, I wonder who on earth you are to judge and in such an uncouth way. There is no way I would accept a person like you in my life, that is for sure.