Do you worry about your near and long term future?
April 2nd 2008 08:51
You know now that things are becoming serious with Andrew I find myself worrying a lot about the immediate future and the long term future, I feel sure that if I had married when I was younger these things would not have bothered me.
I really do love Andrew, he has such a lovely temperament and to find this in a Finance man strikes me as very rare, it's not as if he is anything like his father, he isn't.
He himself does have a lovely boss and this really is rare for anyone if you ask me.
As a man I wouldn't give 'faceache' a second glance but he is married with children and seems to be quite a responsible family man, but at work I find him totally gross.
No-one can see into the future and this is perhaps where my concerns lie although common sense tells me that we are all in the same boat this way.
Somehow I think I have the kind of temperament that likes to be in control of everything I do. That may be all right at work and when one is single, but is that attitude going to make things difficult in a partnership and family.
Andrew would like to see us married by the end of the year. That was what I thought I wanted too but now that it is a reality not just a dream I tend to be running away from the idea.
I have considerable fears and some of those stem from being so comfortable as I am, I really do not want to upset the apple cart and it looks as though we would be living here as I don't fancy moving into Andrew's place in its present condition. In many ways Andrew does not have a clue but appears to be totally unconcerned about that.
I am not so unconcerned as he is.
Maybe leaving relationships until later as I have done is not the best way to go. But I really did not make any choices that way it is just the way things happened to be.
I have become very self centred, I recognise that in myself and can't see myself changing but at the same time I realise things do change when building a relationship together and a possible future.
In some ways I feel as if I could just run away, and I wonder how other people cope.
Do things change between you when you actually live together and when the children come along and a man progresses in his job, do they change substantially again.
For the time being I'm taking a breather and I have told Andrew I won't be making any decisions before the middle of the year but I sense his restlessness and impatience. Having discovered the woman of his dreams as he calls me he wants to settle down and is very excited about the thought of getting married. It takes me all my time to stop him planning the honeymoon.
Thank heavens we both have money, money pressures for many young couples must be enormous and how some manage with a family to look after always astounds me. For, difficult as it appears to be, most do manage and for others their lives are really disastrous.
Do or did any of you share my fears or did you just go along with what you wanted and leave worrying behind you.
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Comment by Lara M
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