Crystal's shine on Crystal's dilemma!
October 4th 2007 21:07
Crystal's Crystals
It is so lovely to be awake and alert so early, normally I just do not want to get out of bed.
I love to sleep and I often wake up so groggy it is an effort to move, so to-day is a pleasant surprise. I can hear the birds outside and I love their calls.
I got home fairly late last night as I had to go to visit my parents. I love them dearly but it seems they always get to call the shots. I think I should do one of those,"assertiveness" courses but I fear I would just sit there like a deaf mute.
Having written that I now think it could be considered cruel by the hearing impaired. One has to be so careful. But being mindful of everyone else's feeling makes me less regardful of my own. I hate political correctness. I wonder how you feel?
People don't have physical characteristics, anymore, they just all attract the same brand hence putting them in the same large box where they don't even get on well together.
I can see the point but calling everyone some sort of 'person' rather than giving them a gender makes me feel very cranky. I'm too young to be cranky yet, surely? or is there a big change at 30.
At least, here, I can express myself, it's such a change from work and from home as well.
My mother just puts all my problems down to high intelligence and too much education and with that I do have a slight tendency to agree. But the conversation about my problems with men never gets beyond those few sharp words.
My father takes an entirely different view, and says there is nothing wrong with being single and that I should get out and mix more. He is so right, but I just can't do it.
They're not worried about grandchildren as I am the youngest of five and they have started collecting 'babies' already.
I just wish I had one for them to make a fuss of.
Well, today is Friday and there's bound to be something going on after work for the madding crowd and without appearing too obvious I think I might try to go along.
Not that any of them appeal to me but it would be, .....well...., sort of like practice, don't you think?
I wonder how many of you have similar problems to myself in expressing yourselves in a social setting. Do you?
Well, I think I had best have my breakfast now, I'll try to finish this before I go to work, I think I'll dress a little less conservatively today and just hope I manage to steer myself in the right direction for drinks.
I feel so much better for having eaten, and I must finish this off quickly if I'm to work out what to wear. I feel so excited, almost bold. But time is running out for me, I shall have to improve myself from my normal tongue-tied state.
I drive to work, the trafiic is so awful, I saw a sign up yesterday about a walk to work day, that's a very good idea but too far for me, I'm afraid.
One thing about the traffic though, I find I have to concentrate so much that I'm actually glad to get to work. At least there if I bump into someone, a simple sorry suffices without having to involve the police and insurance companies and all that sort of thing.
All I have to do now is choose two pictures, I don't think I got the settings right yesterday the pictures didn't come out as well as I expected.
I do hope I am more successful to-day.
At work I have all those sorts of things done for me so I am not all that useful on my own.
I'll let you know how I get on to-night, to-morrow. Surely, I can at least get myself there. I can't be the only socially incompetent person in the world. Can I?
Sun setting on Crystal's social isolation
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Comment by Krystal
feelings
I just feel I have to start somewhere or I'm going to be on my own for ever.
Crystal
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Crystal
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Crystal
Comment by Ash
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It is intimidating being in these settings. I`m not much of a socialiser myself but we all have to belong to this big world.
You are young though, just enjoy yourself without being too pressured to settle down and start having responsibilities. There is time for that. (Well that`s my opinion anyway)
Good luck!
Ash
Comment by Krystal
feelings
I understand your point of view but I have never even had a boyfriend. It's not that I feel pressured, it's what I really want to do.
Crystal