Crystal wants to know, do you ever feel guilty and what do you do about it when you do?
March 8th 2008 09:57
Andrew and I are having a wonderful weekend. We'd got home so late Friday night so he picked me up Early Saturday morning when I was still half asleep and took me for a breakfast on the way.
I was so hungry but within half an hour we were in a nice little cafe having a big breakfast which certainly took away the hunger pangs and I was quite happy to skip lunch after it.
We strolled around the land and it really is very fresh and peaceful up there, they've got the water laid on so that's not a problem and a couple of dams so everything was looking lush and green, and the animals are full of life and contented. We went in and collected the eggs which the chooks had laid taking them back to Charlie who put together a dozen each for us and added fresh fruit and vefetables from the garden.
He pays Andrew $1 a week rent for the old place and does pretty much as he pleases selling off fruit and vegetables and eggs including duck eggs and breeds pups from time to time and teaches horse riding for the youngsters and often has animals in on agistment and he keeps all the profits.
Apparently the rent of $1 a week is necessary for tax benefits for Andrew who is happy to wait for a capital gain somewhere down the track. He often helps Charlie with fencing and stuff but he loves to be in the outdoors and I must say I found it rather pleasant myself.
Charlie puts the $1 in a jar every week and occasionally Andrew collects it and gives him a receipt. It doesn't sound very business like to me but both seem happy with the arrangement and really Charlie's accommodation has seen better days, I would not want to live there.
Men sometimes have their own ideas about things and really it isn't any of my business.
Andrew and I talked about our respective houses. I certainly love mine and I do realize that Andrew has chosen his well with any eye to the future which seems a long way off. I never anticipated having my husband move in with me, I think it should be the other way around.
Andrew said he realized he'd have to well I must confess he used language I never would, and he said he needed to 'get his finger out' so although I didn't agree with the words used I certainly agreed with the sentiment.
He said he'd thought about things and he was thinking of getting tradesmen in to bring the house up to more acceptabl living standards as he knew he'd never get around to it. He just wanted the place to be adequate to attract a reasonable tenant and long term he'd think about his options.
I then asked, where he planned to live, he laughed and gave me a cheeky grin, saying he'd work that out at the time.
I remained mute, and I really do not know what I'll be inclined to do. Just forget it for the time being I guess as it's his problem, not mine.
Time marches on and we got back to my place just on dusk, I couldn't very well turf Andrew out and we were both tired.
I just wanted to have a shower and relax for the evening, maybe have a little snooze before putting in the rest of the evening maybe watching TV or a movie.
I went off to the shower and when I returned Andrew had fallen asleep on the lounge, I put a light rug over him and took myself off to my bedroom with Tinkerbelle and we both ended up asleep too.
I woke up a couple of hours later and found Andrew in the kitchen sharing out some take away, I don't know where he got it from but there was a lovely salad, garlic bread and some nicely crumbed fish. It smelt SO good.
Tuck in he said, I'm starved, and I don't wonder as we had skipped lunch and just had an ice cream in the car on the way home.
He left soon after and as I snuggled in for our goodnight kiss I told him how sorry I was and I'd try to do better next time.
I was going to offer him a shower but he'd fallen asleep.
He was full of re-assurance but after our lovely weekend I think I should have had something on stand by and not left it up to him to organize tea, although that wasn't really my intention it's just the way things happened.
Anyway he's gone now as we both have things to do tomorrow and we were both tired.
But I do feel guilty about my lack of hospitality.
I believe guilt is what women experience far mor than men. But, I'm wondering what you think about such things.
Maybe I'm just being silly.
Am I?
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Comment by katyzzz
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Guilt, all the time, what do I do about it? Live with it, I've had to.
You'll make it up to Andrew I feel sure. No, you're not being silly, just normal and nice.
Comment by tlcorbin
Krystal, I doubt that it is an issue, and I know from inside sources, at this stage in the waltz men are much more flexible. The new is still fresh, but your angst will dull the luster of the budding romance, if you're going to continue with the guilt you've other issues to deal with. If so, re-examine your decision to test fly Andrew, maybe somewhere inside is the answer you won't acknowledge.
Raven
Comment by Louie
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chill and enjoy
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Relax krystal, it is not like you have done anything wrong. Nothing to feel guilty about.
Cheers
Comment by Michaelie
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THiCK as ever, good to see.
Comment by Krystal
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Raven well really, talk about over-react, I guess that’s a man for you, throw myself off the carpet, yes, maybe, it certainly was not serious enough to do anything else and my good man I don’t think you know half as much about young men as you think you do.
Dear you talk a lot of nonsense there is so angst there just regret that I hadn’t extended more hospitality, and I called myself silly, oh, dear.
Thanks Louie, someone with a bit of sense, except that no-one is answering the question
Ah, wonderful Peter, a wonderful response, and you did answer the question, well done.
Michaelie, your response is far too rude for me to answer, very crudely put.
Comment by tlcorbin