How do you feel about the family who raised you and your partner's family?
March 17th 2008 09:27
It was a family weekend this time and first Andrew took me to see his folks, on Saturday afternoon, taking with us a cinnamon bun, as he says his mum didn't keep much in the house for visitors as they didn't have many and his family was not very social.
His home was a big old fashioned one, well maintained but not too fancy.
His mum has a causal job at the local Supermarket and his dad works for the Public Service. He seemed a morose sort of individual and Andrew said he had always been like that.
His mum was a bit overweight and didn't exercise much, she said her housework was enough and his dad was very proud of the garden and growing their own vegetables. They had a car but used public transport as much as possible.
We sat around the table for afternoon tea and his mum made coffee and tea as everyone drank something different. She cut up the bun, put some butter on it and asked us all to help ourselves putting out a pile of plates which we were obviously supposed to help ourselves to. They had a cat which roamed around inside and the dog, which was reasonably big was confined to the back yard.
The cat wound itself in and out of my legs and genuinely seemed to like me.
The dog stuck with the men, it was a male and I don't know whether that had anything to do with it.
None of the children lived at home anymore and his mum said she missed them, they didn't have many family gatherings because she was not good at that sort of thing.
His dad said very little, asked Andrew how his job and the farm were going but said barely anything to me. It made me a bit uncomfortable but then I decided I was being a bit too precious and I'd best just put up with it. They were not an affectionate household Andrew told me later and I suppressed the urge to say " I can see that"
Sunday afternoon we arrived unannounced at my parents house and mum immediately began to fuss about getting some afternoon tea in her usual fastidious way and dad "chewed Andrew's ear" about his job and car and all of those sorts of things.
Looking back I don't think I'd describe my family as particularly demonstrative either. But they were good at conversation.
Those things having been done Andrew and I breathed a sigh of relief, content to be together once again, just the two of us.
Andrew was certainly affectionate with me and I don't mean in just a sexual way which everyone seems to call love, nowadays, silly if you ask me.
So how do you feel about your partner's family, like them, hate them, tolerate them and what would you change if you could?
I love my family and like them just the way they are, Andrew said he'd like his family to be more like mine but he wanted to show his a lot of affection and like me he was looking forward to starting one as soon as the right girl would have him.
I laughed, and he laughed, a little reluctantly, and I told him to be patient. I guess my folks were wondering if he would meet the same fate as Jim, but they didn't say anything.
Families can cause problems, can't they, and for some serious problems, so how do you feel about yours?
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