Crystal wants to know who does the chores at your place?
February 6th 2008 08:48
Jim has been spending a lot of time at my place, as you can imagine, and the question of household chores has come up.
Naturally when he first used to come I regarded him as a guest and the question of chores just did not arise.
But things have advanced a little since then and he'll often bring a change of clothes when we're planning to go out later and he wants to dress up a bit, just like I do.
Lately he's been leaving his dirty clothes in the laundry and not even in the laundry basket and when he goes out into the garden he'll often come back into the house leaving dirty footprints, and when I feed him which is quite regularly he never offers to collect the dishes, let alone stack the dishwasher, and he uses the shower but never cleans up after himself and often he just leaves wet towels lying around.
Initially I would just clean up after him but nowadays I think he has moved beyond the guest category and even guests generally contribute.
He enjoys the garden but as I have a gardener in he doesn't have to worry about that either.
To give him his due he's great at filling my car up with petrol for me and even arranging the servicing and he'll often take a quick trip out to the car wash and return with it sparkling clean.
Somehow we have never discussed this, it has just happened and really I am well able to attend to my own car and as for putting out the trash that remains my job.
This all sounds rather silly as he is just my boyfriend and neither he nor I want him to move in.
When and if we ever do decide to get married I suppose there will be many things to work out.
I was reading the other day about division of chores and I found out the following things.
Talking of people in relationships it suggested that it was very important that the man do chores. Many men are not so inclined, and at least some men just won't do the dishes.
Suggestions include.
Choose right. It is very important that 'he' does chores.
Communicate. Some women like a clean kitchen and want to set down guidelines.
Can he cook?
Vacuuming is a chore as is dusting, washing windows should not be forgotten.
Make some chore a couple thing e.g. Spring cleaning.
Laundry. Men can do it.
You can get your partner to do chores. But you don't want him to resent it.
So I am wondering who does the chores at your place and does this cause any disharmony.
Jim and I really will have to talk about these things.
It's fine that he does things he likes doing but why assume that I am happy and available to do the others.
The basics of life, I know, but ones that need some attention.
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Division of labour is an area where women are still far behind in the equality stakes. And it's not just about the amount, but the type.
Failure to consider this and act upon it fairly is just ridiculously inconsiderate, selfish, lazy and often, sexist, attributing a certain disposition or servile tendency or obligation according to gender.
It makes me really mad and I wouldn't put up with it for a second. But I do hope this comment doesn't involve too much 'angst' for you. Maybe I should not have actually read the post and just written this instead:
Comment by Louie
Climate Forum
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
chores are tricky and are defined as the things we ALL hate doing.
We do it like this, we take the things we love and do them then divide equally the things we hate, somehow it works out. It takes time to find the balance.
Best not to sweat the small stuff, it aint worth it.
Comment by Krystal
feelings
I think for once we are in complete accord.
Jim and I have serious things to discuss. Stay tuned.
Comment by Krystal
feelings