What annoys you most about the person you live with, and what do you do about it?
January 24th 2008 10:27
You know I don't think there is much about Jim that annoys me, but one thing that does is that he wants to put music on ALL the time. I find this very annoying but I know so many people do it. I love music but not the same things over and over again and not constantly.
Once people put those earplugs in they can't hear you and they just seem to live in their own little world, it's funny but I don't recall anyone in my family who actually does this, maybe that's why it annoys me so much.
Perhaps because Jim and I do not spend nights together I don't know if he has any little habits that annoy me or contrariwise, any little habits of mine which may annoy him.
We're both a bit obsessive about our jobs but, thankfully, neither of us believe in working unduly long hours, but who knows what Jim's work will be like in the future, I don't think any of us really know that.
As for me, I'm intending to give up work when I start a family, and Jim seems to be OK about that, I guess we're lucky that we could afford it, not that we've decided to get married yet. There's no rush.
But it is more everyday things that I am talking about maybe like spending too long in the toilet or some such other thing. So what is it that annoys you about your loved one, or just simply someone who lives under the same roof as you do?
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Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
It's such a burden.
Michaelie
Comment by Sandra
WebLife
Underground Stuff
EVERYTHING!!!
I don't think men and women were ever meant to live together as couples, it's so hard to stand someone's little habits....
I hate when he sleeps during the day, or late in the morning.(except when im writing!)
I love his delicious cooking, his tidy living, his DIYing habits...
But he's so annoying when he doesnt put things bak where they should be...
Or sulks and ignores me.
This society we live in is crazy, if thats what's love is meant to be then we have a very poor concept of it....
Comment by Vixter
People
Diet Food Lifestyle
CHEATERS
1 For The Road
So what is a girl to do?
Comment by Sandra
WebLife
Underground Stuff
Freedom is what you need!!!!
Comment by Danceswithwords
Poetic Sedition
Inspiration
I think finding fault in something, anything, is much easier than finding something fascinating, because it's different. Posting or perhaps in this case venting about Jim in here won't get him to stop listening to the same old tunes over and over. If I expend energy finding fault in my partner then what will happen is a law in relationship and universal "life" physics. What ever you give focus will get bigger. Much bigger.
What starts as Jim listening to that song again becomes "the annoying things your partner does in here post." Over to you Jim. I'm trying to be objective here, and get off my high horse perfect. Maybe the fact you are annoyed (in general) about Jim's habits (and yeah it could be Julie's habits as easily) is where things start to go wrong.
Jim has a weapon now. What weapon? Well he just needs to put "that" song on again to send you up the wall. Do you know what annoys him? An even $50 that if you annoy him enough with it then it becomes a full on behavioral annoyance contest.
The solution?? Well change your language from frustrating to fascinating. Pay attention to self, and enjoy what you do. If your partner is annoyed about what you do then its an opportunity. To get closer, not further apart.
It's like we were this happy as a couple once, now everything "Julie or Jim" does is SO ANNOYING. Trust me the world is full of fascinating people and there isn't a single human being who in some way shape or form wouldn't frustrate someone focusing on it.
Next time Jim plays that same song over and over - give him a great big kiss. One that will stop him in his tracks. He'll go "wow don't stop honey!" and you go "ok but you're going to have to let me play something else."
Gotta smile at how fascinating you both are ;o)
Comment by tlcorbin
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Comment by Louie
Climate Forum
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
How naive of me to think that girls (and women) were genetically pre-desposed to be neat.
After three daughters - who have obviously inherited their mother's genes for cleaning - I've admitred defeat - these days I just get on with the ritual of cleaning and tidying - though it is - in many ways therapeutic after a day at the office.
Yep Yep Yep . . . .
MNG
Comment by Joanne Fedler
Secret Writers Business
It's the little stuff in the end that gnaws at your brain until one day you shriek over breakfast 'I can't f***ing stand the way you eat your porridge, I want a divorce!'
My advice: if you're going to live with someone by choice (kids make mess, so live with that), find someone whose irritating little habits don't grate up against any of your edges - though sometimes those little habits nudge their way into a relationship when the mortgage is already in both your names.
Jo
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Sandra, I do agree modern society really complicates things but we don’t have the power to turn the clock back yet, although the Amish seem to be doing pretty well, they’ve just not moved forward with the clock. Their life looks very peaceful. I’m not so sure it is in reality tho.
Vixter, I think you’ve summed it up very well, look around for other accommodation for your house guests perhaps?
Dances with words, that is a really interesting way of looking at things, and you’ve given us a lovely long reply, well done. This has obviously touched a nerve.
Raven , you’ve summed it up so succinctly, I do think with men and women it’s a case often of “never the twain shall meet” trouble is they do. Birds and bees do a bit better, I think.
Louie, so well said, the small stuff becomes the bit stuff, so very true.
Mr NG, a great response, but couldn’t you draw up a roster so that all get to participate in cleaning up their own mess, although I think perhaps you’re Mr overly fussy as well which does make things difficult. Get them on side and don’t be so willing.
Joanne, a lovely long reply and words of great wisdom, I think these things probably do sneak up on people.
Well said, Anon, but maybe a little round the table talk fest would help.
Thank you all for your wonderful contributions, so much has been so well said,
Congratulations.