Pain Is Beauty
March 7th 2007 13:18
Im fearing to a degree that I have gone to far? Pushed myself to hard to fast?
Hating the fact that what I am doing is bad for me but loving the results I get!
I don't know when or if I will ever be completely happy, no matter how much I shrink!
But I will know when I get there, and thats when this shit stops!
I was browsing Pro-Ana websites today, the pictures on there, most of them made me feel sick! Those girls, well some of them have gone far to far! I won't ever end up going as far as the majority of them!
I will know when I have gone to far!
At the moment, nothing is gunna make me feel the need to stop, I am more unhappy with myself than I have been in a long time, maybe even since before this started! Which is too long ago to remember now!
I have been getting fucking chronic pains in my sides, they sorta started yesterday but got stronger today, I couldnt walk!
I have noticed my body is suffering in some aspects due to what I am doing, but not enough to make me want to stop, I know I have done damage. It is pretty obvious to myself!
I am more prone to bruising, I have aches in my joints, Im headachey and now this pain in my sides! Fuck it!
Pain is beauty!
This shit is currently a crazy rollercoaster one minute i hate mia next minute I crave her. No more 'stuck in the middle business'
Hating the fact that what I am doing is bad for me but loving the results I get!
I don't know when or if I will ever be completely happy, no matter how much I shrink!
But I will know when I get there, and thats when this shit stops!
I was browsing Pro-Ana websites today, the pictures on there, most of them made me feel sick! Those girls, well some of them have gone far to far! I won't ever end up going as far as the majority of them!
I will know when I have gone to far!
At the moment, nothing is gunna make me feel the need to stop, I am more unhappy with myself than I have been in a long time, maybe even since before this started! Which is too long ago to remember now!
I have noticed my body is suffering in some aspects due to what I am doing, but not enough to make me want to stop, I know I have done damage. It is pretty obvious to myself!
I am more prone to bruising, I have aches in my joints, Im headachey and now this pain in my sides! Fuck it!
Pain is beauty!
This shit is currently a crazy rollercoaster one minute i hate mia next minute I crave her. No more 'stuck in the middle business'
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Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Don't look at those websites, or if you do, use them as a reason to not end up like them. They are a visual reminder for you to get better.
Tracy
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life