Crystal wants to know "what do you expect from a male partner?"
February 8th 2008 03:12
I invited Jim over after my ballet class last night and suggested he bring a pizza meal with him.
I really think I've had enough of doing the 'girlie' bit in the kitchen.
I think I now know why Jim never wanted to move in with any of his previous girl friends, that way he got to enjoy all the perks without the responsibilities.
Not that I have ever been inclined to encourage Jim to move in, quite the opposite.
I told him we had some serious issues to talk about. He said "what again?' which comment I ignored.
Well I don't want to bore you with all the things I thought he'd been doing wrong, I went into that at some length in my last post.
To cut a long story short I said I didn't want him treating my place like a home away from home and I thought we should go back to keeping our association more formal. He looked taken aback.
I often think I really should have found myself a boyfriend earlier in life before I was so well established. That may well have saved the need for the problems I felt I was now experiencing.
But for this weekend I told Jim I wanted to spend it on my own, and where we went from there was up to him.
I said I had expectations of any man I became involved with and one of those expectations was that he do his own thinking. I felt I would do enough of that for children when I was raising them, let alone have to cope with a man who needed to be told what to do all the time and who left everything to me.
Our pizzas got a little cold along the way and Jim ended up going off in a huff, I feel remarkably peaceful, at least I would not be waiting on a man like a serving girl in the near future.
I'm beginning to rethink the whole marriage and male friendship business, wondering if it is worth the trouble. I still want children and would not consider that option without marriage but maybe I have missed the boat and I am now beginning to wonder about myself.
Would I ever be able to find a man who would measure up to my expectations, all I knew was that for now I was looking forward to my own company for a few days, maybe I had become selfish, but I think I like it that way.
So I'm wondering what your thoughts on these things are and let's not get notions of 'fairy princess' love get in the way.
But the question is "What do you expect in a male partner"? do you think you have those things or are they impossible to find.
I must say I expect a man to measure up and I am not referring to his vital statistics.
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Comment by AmyHuang
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I think we shouldn't expect too much from men, for all they are, they are still men. There are exceptions of course and obviously stay away from those men who expect everything from you.
I dunno Crystal, sorry - see what others have to say....
Comment by grumpy
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You sound like you would be better off on your own.
People don't "expect" things from those they love. They give to them and receive in return. But from what you say it seems love has nothing to do with it. Real love, that is.
For you it seems it's all about someone fitting in to "your" life. Sorry - it don't work that way. As it is, if what you write is actual and not made up, "Jim" ain't the goods. But neither are you, it seems to me.
Comment by Norm
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Comment by Krystal
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Grumpy, well what else would I expect from a Grumpy old man, every woman's nightmare and at the same time acceptance. Better off without them I think. Thank for your complimentary views.
Mal or is it Norm, good point about sterility, must make sure when the big occasion looks ready to roll I have these things checked out. Doesn't matter about Jim's possible sterility any more, I've moved on to greener pastures.
Sorry about my delayed responses everyone, I've been very busy at work.
Crystal